Wedding Gift Registry Etiquette for Elopements: A Complete Guide
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When you’re eloping, it can be confusing which wedding traditions you should keep, and which ones aren’t right for you. One of the most controversial topics we see in forums all the time is whether you should have a wedding registry if you’re eloping.
In this post, we look at elopement registry etiquette, and whether you should or shouldn’t create one for your elopement.
What is a wedding registry?
Traditionally, when a couple gets married, guests invited to their wedding give a gift to the newlywed couple. In the days when couples would only start living together after their wedding, wedding gifts typically consisted of household items, such as kitcheware or bedding. The concept of a wedding registry was created to allow couples to create a list of items that they wanted, and guests could choose something off the list. This helped avoid duplicated or unwanted items.
In our modern society, where many couples already live together before marriage, and generally have all of the household items they need, many couples are opting for alternative wedding registries that allow guests to give them a financial contribution to a honeymoon or house deposit instead.
Is an elopement registry the same as a wedding registry?
Essentially, yes, they are the same thing. There aren’t dedicated wedding registries that are specifically for elopements.
Elopement Registry Etiquette
Should You Have a Registry if You’re Eloping?
Whether you should have a registry or not when you elope can hugely divide opinions. Just take a look at this discussion on Reddit. While many people will assume that since you’re eloping, you’ve also decided to skip the traditional gift-giving expectations that come with attending a wedding, there may be people in your circle who want to gift you something. Then it’s up to you if you have a registry to send them (but only if they ask).
How to Announce Your Elopement Registry Tactfully
When announcing your registry, be subtle and personal. Consider including registry information on a wedding website or in private conversations rather than broadcasting it widely. Avoid mentioning gifts or registries in your elopement announcement.
When to Share Your Elopement Registry (and With Whom)
To avoid coming across as greedy or entitled, we recommend that you only share your registry when asked directly about gifts. Those most likely to be asking are close friends and family. Don’t send it out to people unsolicited.
You may also want to share your registry information with certain people in your inner circle who can pass it on for you in case someone asks them. For example, tell your parents how to share it, in case Great Aunt Mildred asks about it when she hears that you got married.
Navigating Family Expectations for Elopement Gifts
Communicate openly with family and friends about your preferences. Explain your decision to elope and how you’re handling gifts. Be prepared to compromise if family members feel strongly about giving traditional gifts.
Elopement Registry Etiquette Dos and Don’ts
Do:
- Create a small, thoughtful registry
- Share registry info only when asked
- Express gratitude for all gifts
Don’t:
- Include registry info in your announcement
- Expect gifts from everyone
- Create an extensive registry
Post-Elopement Celebration Registry Etiquette
If you’re choosing to hold a post-elopement celebration, it’s more likely that people will expect to give you a gift. Even so, we still recommend being tactful about how you share it. If you are sending out invitations then you could
➡️ Read more about how to plan a post-elopement celebration
Elopement Registry Example Wording
Some couples try to make the wording of their registry notification cute or funny, or try to get poetic with it so that it softens the fact that you are asking for money.
But honestly, if that feels too cheesy to you, but be straightforward and honest.
Here are some examples you can try (warning – some are more cheesy than others):
Fun and Lighthearted Wording:
- “Surprise! We eloped! No gifts are necessary—your love and friendship are all we need. But if you’re feeling generous, we’ve put together a small registry. We can’t wait to celebrate with you soon!”
- “We ran away and got hitched! We’re so excited to share the news with you. No gifts are expected, but if you’d like to send a little something our way, we’ve got a registry ready. See you at the party!”
- “We did it! We eloped! While your presence means the most to us, if you’d like to contribute to our new adventure, we’ve set up a registry. Totally optional, of course, but much appreciated!”
- “We went and said ‘I do’—just the two of us! While there’s no need to send a gift, we’ve created a registry for those who’d like to. What matters most is celebrating with you soon!”
- “Surprise, we eloped! We’re just thrilled to share the news with you. If you’re inclined to send a gift, we’ve put together a registry, but please know that your well wishes are more than enough!”
Straightforward and Sincere Wording:
- “We wanted to share the exciting news that we’ve eloped! While we’re not expecting any gifts, we’ve set up a registry for those who have asked. Your love and support mean the most to us, and we look forward to celebrating together soon.”
- “In a small and private ceremony, we said our vows and began our life together. We don’t expect any gifts, but if you feel inclined, we’ve created a registry for those who wish to contribute. We can’t wait to celebrate with you in the future.”
- “We’re excited to share that we’ve eloped! Your presence in our lives is the greatest gift we could ask for. However, if you’d like to send a gift, we’ve put together a registry for those who are interested.”
- “We eloped! No gifts are expected, but we’ve received some requests, so we’ve set up a registry for those who’d like to contribute. Most importantly, we’re looking forward to celebrating with you soon!”
- “We chose an intimate elopement to start our married life. While your support and well wishes are all we truly need, we’ve created a registry for anyone who wants to send a gift. We’re excited to celebrate with you soon!”
These options make it clear that gifts are not expected or necessary, while still providing the opportunity for those who may want to contribute in some way.
Fun and Cheeky Wording for Party Invites:
- “Guess what? We eloped! Now it’s time to celebrate! No gifts required—just bring your dancing shoes. But if you’re feeling extra generous, we’ve got a registry ready. Come join the fun and celebrate our happily ever after!”
- “We couldn’t wait and eloped! But we still want to party with you! Join us for a celebration—no gifts necessary, just your fabulous self. However, if you insist, we’ve set up a little registry for the occasion.”
- “We tied the knot in secret, but the celebration’s about to go public! No gifts needed, but if you’re in the mood to spoil us, our registry is open. Mostly, we just want you to come and celebrate with us!”
- “Surprise, we eloped! But don’t worry, the party is still on! No need for gifts—your presence is the best present. However, if you’re feeling generous, check out our registry. Let’s make some memories together!”
- “We eloped and skipped the big wedding—but we’re not skipping the party! Come celebrate with us! No gifts are expected, but if you’re in the mood to contribute, our registry is ready. Let’s raise a glass and have some fun!”
Top Registry Ideas for Eloping Couples
Consider registering for:
- Honeymoon funds
- Experiences and adventures
- Home improvement items
- Charitable donations
- Cash funds for future goals
Best Wedding Registry Companies for eloping Couples
Honeyfund
Honeyfund is the only gift registry that makes your dream honeymoon happen and powers your happily-ever-after with the help of friends and family — with zero fees. Made for couples who prioritize experiences over toasters, Honeyfund is the most trusted honeymoon and cash registry site with nearly $1 billion gifted.
The Knot
The Knot allows you to create a wedding registry with literally anything you want. They also partner with many of the other major wedding registry platforms, such as Bloomingdales, Pottery Barn, and Amazon. They also partner with Traveler’s Joy for their honeymoon fun, GoFundMe, and offer a cash registry too.
Hitchd
Hitchd is an all-in-one platform that allows you to create a registry for whatever you want. Homeware, electronics, experiences or a travel fund. You can do it all simply and easily on their clean and easy-to-navigate platform. Hitchd makes it simple for your guests to select a gift or contribute financially to a fund instead. They support all major payment providers and have a simple and transparent one-time setup fee.
Zola
Zola offers everything you’d expect from a traditional wedding registry, such as homeware, as well as gift cards for travel and experiences. They also offer you the option of creating a zero-fee cash fund towards something like your honeymoon or home renovations.
Wrapping Up (forgive the pun)
Deciding whether or not to create a wedding registry for your elopement is a personal choice. Some couples may find it feels a bit uncomfortable to ask people for gifts if they aren’t invited to your wedding, while those who are planning a post-elopement celebration may feel like it’s a harmless extra thing to have since you know there will be people who want to gift you something (and you’d rather it was something you actually wanted).
At the end of the day it’s your choice. Do what feels in alignment with you.
